Parenting...WTF?

me and my best buddy

So it has been a little hard to come up with new and vibrant posts lately because once again life gets in the way and sometimes I just got nuthin.

Oh and by the way…I know that nuthin is not the correct spelling. I know it is NOTHING. So random spelling police who commented that my blog is RIFE with spelling errors, just bite me.

And random person who needs thrilling entertainment and commented that I have become boring…well you can bite it too.

Seriously- don’t read what I write. I may make errors and I may not have orgasmic little literary tidbits for you to munch on. Really- go read something high quality because if you dig deep it is sure to be out there. (Insert massive eye-rolling sarcasm) I will continue to excite my other fourteen readers.

So why the snark on this blue-skied Sunday? The Kid is on DAY 4 of actual real flu, my brain is numb from LOST and How I Met Your Mother marathons, and while my living room sofa is sublime cushiness  it is meant for naps and not all night sleeping because the Kid is on the den couch and wants me within a sneeze width for all his needs. I have boiled two chickens, prayed to God, promised movies, and June Cleevered my way to an influenza exorcism, but to no avail. He is sick as a dog. A grumpy feverish dog.

Back to me having nuthin. Nutting. NOTHING.

I have been writing a lot and just not here. So when my fabulous novel gets published one day and I have Colin Firth dangling like man candy on my arm at endless book signings you can gush and glow about reading my blog when I was just a little sprout of a writer.

So on Friday afternoon, a typical catch up on the week phone call occurs between me and half of K2. This is where the parenting part of this post comes in.

She had just had it. She unleashed a tirade of parenting venting that included two, not one mind you, but TWO goddamns. I was impressed. GD is not thrown around lightly by most folks in my little sphere. This was big.

I will save you the laundry list of her complaints, but they included major schlepping of two girls back and forth between home, school, practice, and games with a little homework angst and fashion woes thrown in for good measure. One story involved an ice pack on one girl and the other girl appearing guilty. We talked about lost keys, last minute homework assignments, forgotten phone numbers, hurt feelings and tears.

“Do you ever just wonder if we have no clue what the fuck we are doing?” (this is me)

“You mean parenting?”

“Yeah. I mean the Kid has food and clothes and blood doesn’t appear too often, but other than that I don’t know. I am flying by the seat of my pants. I generally don’t know what the fuck I am doing.”

Oh and then of course we had to harken back to the days of when we were kids and there were no cell phones and we walked ten miles to school in the snow. Well actually I had to walk about half a block and she had to walk maybe two blocks so life was a bit more of a hardship for her. We nostalgically oozed memories about ice skating every Friday night (seriously, this is true shit), going to every football game and basketball game, swimming every day in the summer and our parents NEVER had to plan ONE minute of our fun. We grasped our fun by its Appalachian horns and reveled in all its glory.

I am fairly certain our parents never wondered if we had enough amusement or if we had finished our homework or if we were less than safe. They didn’t worry or wonder because we made our own fun, not doing homework and getting good grades was not an option, and we were pretty darn safe. Ah West Virginia in the 70s and 80s.

So what has happened from one generation to the next? Our children have advantages that our parents could have never dreamed. But they are also coddled and spoiled and I am guilty of doing both. And I am sure both halves of K2 share that sentiment to an extent as well.

Are we doing something wrong or are we doing something right? Or are we somewhere in the middle?

This is one of the things my parents did right…in a way…

In their own way they said this is life…enjoy it…and if you ever get in trouble or need anything we are here.

Sometimes I could have used a little more guidance, but I am not sure they had it in them. They did a great job all the same.

So this is what I say to the Kid…

This is life…enjoy it, but quit forgetting your goddamned key, get your ass in bed for the last friggin time, get your ass out of bed for the last friggin time, stop that insufferable tapping, if you fart at me one more time I will beat you I swear and always write thank you notes.

Ok I’m good. I got  this parenting thing down.