I’m in the mood for a bit of an old-fashioned parenting rant…this is actually kind of funny since I just hosted a baby shower at my house…but some of this baby stuff is out of control. But let me clarify- the baby shower has nothing to do with this rant- it was perfectly lovely.
So you are thinking about having a baby…
Really? Ok, it’s one thing to think about…
Why? Do you really know why?
For starters- babies smell, they are inconvenient and they are way too expensive.
Do you want to have a baby because all of your friends now have babies and you feel left out? Just like when all of your friends were getting married and you whined about when it would happen to you?
Not good reasons.
Are you prepared for A LOT less sleep? For endless crying jags-yours, not the baby’s, for laundry that multiplies on its own? For a seemingly endless supply of spit up and shit?
Ok, so go ahead then. But make sure you read every book, magazine and website available so all the know it all parents out there can give you advice about wipe warmers and strollers and some tortorous plan of action when by god you are going to get that baby to sleep through the night.
So now I will relinquish my ascerbic, tongue in cheek rant and have a little serious talk.
Have a baby because you have an inordinate amount of love to give. Have a baby because you are ready to give up some sleep in order to bury your nose in that fuzzy little head and inhale the best smell on earth. Have a baby because every second you spend with that baby you want to go back in time and do it all again.
My irritation level mounts when I hear parents talk about sacrifice. Being a mom has not been a sacrifice, it has been the most fun EVER. I get to spend my days with my sweet Nicholas. How could any part of that be a sacrifice? Now, does he get on my nerves? Yes! I could easily have his farting mechanism turned off and I wish he would stop thinking the den floor was his own personal trash can and my god if I hear one more freaking word about Star Wars I will eviserate myself with a light saber.
Oh, but back to that word sacrifice…
I truly think the things I sacrifice by being a mother are material so it doesn’t matter too much anyhow. My vacations would not only be better, but they would actually exist. My wardrobe might consist of more than tee shirts from Target. I might even own more books…wait a minute- I may have to rethink this one…
A donation was made not long ago to the agency where I work. A big portion of the donation consisted of A LOT of parenting magazines. One of my young pup co-workers (not a mother) asked if I wanted any of these magazines and I easily replied…
“No thanks, I really don’t read parenting magazines.” It was that simple- I don’t. If I am going to spend time reading it will be a book for myself or a book to my kid.
“Got it all figured out, do ya?” was the snarky, unnecessary reply I received.
“Yep, I’m good.”
Bottom line. Parenting. Back to that endless supply of love thing. Easy-peasy. The rest I will figure out. I just need my kid. And he seems to be doing just fine. 
I quit the parenting magazine subscription some time ago, since most of the articles are recycled throughtout the year and I kept reading the same jibberish. However, I do subscribe to a couple of parenting websites and I’ve gotten some good tips on picky eaters, activities and crafts for kids. There is some good content out there.
Seriously, if I could go back and un-read about 50 or so parenting books, I would do it. Every now and then I’d find a gem, but most of it just interfered with my God-given mama instinct.
Now I just look for good mamas, befriend them, and ask for their advice. Coincidence that we’re friends? I think not.
Mine are grown and gone. Never read one parenting book or magazine . I joke now to my youngest who is getting ready to be a parent he can’t have a kid yet, I’m not done fucking him up enough so that he can ask to go on Oprah (which by the way he better hurry as I hear she is getting ready to retire!) My oldest called today , because she did not like the fact that I sent her something to help her $ wise to get thru the next few months that will be really hard on her. She actually called yelling at me saying I don’t need my “Mommy anymore to pick up the pieces” ok. so go out there on your own kiddo yeah we will see how long that last in this economy !!!! She will be back crying at the door in under 3 weeks.
Like I said you get one chance to mess them up better make it good! After that we will all be 6ft under and then it is their turn to mess with the next generation!
Thanks for good Parenting Advice I also want a baby now a days so I am searching for parenting tips.
Great post. Here is some of my advice: As a entrepreneur, I was always working and travelling with very little time dedicated to my social life. I ended up marrying and settling down quite late and have always regretted delaying the building of my family. The family is the true joy and why of our human experience. When you reach 50, its hard to fathom that we put our career before our personal life.